28 With the Spine of a 60 Year Old
June 10th, 2026
I am 28 and have fairly severe scoliosis. I have known since my first sports physical in middle school. This past December, I had the 3rd episode of intense lower back pain in my life. The first time was in high school around 2017. The pain was very “nervy” and down my legs. Very typical of sciatica. The second time was during college in 2021. Crippling pain, mobility limitations. My Dr. didn’t do any imaging. They just told me I “slipped a disc.” I got physical therapy and it slowly got better. This time it was so bad. I couldn't really walk at all. Everytime I sat down it felt like my spine was collapsing in on itself. I had to go to the ER for relief. It slowly moved towards getting better, but when I started physical therapy and exercising again it began getting worse. That's what motivated me to try and get imaging done. I had to jump through all kinds of hoops to see a specialist and get imaging. Multiple Dr. appointments with my general practitioner just for her to agree I need to see a specialist. When I met with my specialist, she asked follow up questions about my pain history. I could tell they were actually listening to me! I hadn’t felt that way so far.
It's taken months, but tomorrow I will finally get answers. I’ve already looked over the radiologists notes. I herniated a disc and had a disc extrusion. I wonder how much of this damage is left over from the first events. It's been a lot to process. It can be hard to avoid thinking about how young I am dealing with this, and the intrusive thoughts of how it's only going to get worse as I get older.
It's amazing how no matter how much trauma I process, and learn to move past, life has a way of revealing new ones. I grew up in a very tall, physically capable, sportsball, pull yourself up from your bootstraps type of family. After looking into it, I am the only person with scoliosis issues in my family. I spent so much of my life being told to push through pain, because that's how life works. Or how important it is to others in my family that I stay skinny. When I called my dad to let him know about what's going on he literally said something about how I need to try and not gain weight through this. I know it's stupid and mean spirited, but my brain is poisoned with this stuff. It's hard to not let it get to me. I feel like I’ve made so many stupid decisions with my body that have only made this situation worse. I should have been listening to what my spine was telling me, and respecting its boundaries this whole time. I need to push through this weird complex I have about asking people to do physical things for me. It's been very draining. I feel like I have a very deep seeded fear of not being able bodied that I need to get over. If I keep pretending everything is fine, it will only make it worse.
I have all of this going on, and it does weigh on me, but I feel like I’m maintaining a pretty good outlook on this situation. The silver linings are very clear to me. For one, I was able to get through herniating and extruding a disc without having to take addictive pain killers to manage the pain. Addiction runs in my family, so that makes me very hopeful I can keep avoiding them in the future. Also, I don't have to be scared of herniating a disc anymore, because I’ve already done it! I know how to treat it at the moment, and I know the pain will go away. I think that's a beautiful thing. My job can be physical, but my manager is all in on making sure I am taken care of. I also have decent insurance.
If there is one thing life has taught me it's that bad times come in waves, but there is always another sunny day on the other side. I just have to make it there. I am determined to be happy.